You and your girl have been together for a while. You are blissfully happy and, what seems like all of a sudden, you’re having that dreaded “it’s over” conversation. What the hell happened?
You missed the signs.
Let’s keep it real, there are always signs there is trouble in a relationship. Be smart and recognize them because you might be able to repair the situation.
Or at least have the satisfaction of dumping her first.
I kid, I kid…
Let’s get to it: 10 signs you’re about to be a single man (in no particular order):
- She avoids referring to you as her man: Should be fairly obvious but many times a man is so gleefully happy he does not realize she stopped introducing him as “my boyfriend NAME” to “this is NAME”. Let me give you a mini-tip: look out for this from the beginning because a lot of women (and men) do this unconsciously.
- Lost interest in sex: Figured I would get the obvious ones out of the way. Lack of intimacy is a key sign she is phasing you out of her life. Do not confuse this with a woman that might have higher priorities, for example a single-parent, demanding job, etc. If there haven’t been significant changes in her life, she is still behaving as she always did (going out with friends, etc.) and her interest in sex dropped (along with other signs on this list) you can begin to question if something is wrong.
- The friends have priority: You’d like to go out on Saturday but she’s going out with her girls. You want to catch a movie on Wednesday but she’s going out with her girls. Get the drift? If she is consistently picking her friends over you, well, isn’t the point of being in a relationship to spend time together? Don’t whine if she wants to spend some time with her girls. Her life can’t be all about you, ya know?
- Call me sometime..: Does she call/send text messages/IM/email etc. as much as she once did? Happy women want to talk to their men and will break their neck trying to get in touch. The pissed off woman won’t really care if she talks to you or not. Lack of communication is another “putting distance between us” maneuver.
- The “click” is gone: You remember how it was in the beginning? The connection was so strong; the vibe was flowing, even when things were tough. Now, you cannot connect anymore. Mentally, she’s not there or something has changed….perhaps it is you?
- You’re always wrong: No one is wrong all the time, except you of course. She angry at you and honestly, this is hard one to get out of. She’s pushing you away but unwilling to discuss why.
- No more public displays of affection: Remember when you used to hold hands walking in the mall, cuddle at the movies, kiss in public? Another “putting distance between you” move that means she has concerns about how others view her relationship with you.
- She points out your differences: Are your long-term expectations in sync? If she wants to focus on her career and you want a stay at home mother for your kids, there is a problem. Perhaps entering the relationship one or both of you thought the other would change and it has become clear to her that is not going to happen.
- Outside interests are a priority: Every one gains new interests but if these interests take priority over time with you, that is a sign where she is resisting the opportunity to spend time with you. People make time for the people important to them.
- Her friends seem distant towards you: It is not uncommon for women to talk to their friends about a problem in their relationship before talking to their boyfriend. If you spend time with her friends you might notice a change in how her friends interact with you…because they know something you don’t.
Look back on your previous relationships and see if you can spot the signs where the relationship started to crumble. Learn from those experiences and look out for them in the future. Do not jump to conclusions at the smallest sign of change. If she’s busy three times you want to go out it could be she has school assignments or a work project that takes priority. Look for these signs consistent over time and try to work it out.
Or dump her first. I kid…I kid.
Some women play games in the beginning before they get caught up.
It’s important to talk to one another. If something is bothering your girl she should tell you. Same for the man. Talk about it.
I’m wrong most of the time. I have the King of being wrong. If I do what I want I’m wrong. If I do what she says I someone fuck it up and I’m wrong. Always wrong.
#2 is the red flag for me. When I want out I prefer he not touch me. Sometimes it’s easier to react than have the break up convo.
Holy crap. Am I the first to make a comment?
I checked my subs, say your entry, marked it read then realized what the title was. 10 signs you’re about to be single and I thought someone hacked your blog. Came over and I stared at the monitor.
THANK GOD! That blogging stuff bored me to tears.
I’ll check it out tomorrow. I’m going out tonight, I’ll tell everyone TYME IS BACK!!!
And beautiful. So beautiful.
Good points. Her friends will almost always give it away. At least my girlfriend’s will.
Andre what do you do when her friends give it away? Do you talk to her about it? Does she admit it?
I do not talk to my girlfriends about problems, nothing serious. He left the toilet seat up and I fell in type of thing.
No WAY! I never thought you would do it girl! What a change! I thought you were destined for boring white pages talking about Scoble!
When I’m not feeling it anymore I cut things off. Why avoid it?
Wow Tyme, I’m so happy for you. Changed the whole site. What will your readers think?
@Riley, right on! Speak up! Not calling back pisses me off too.
What change?
I remember when I noticed my ex fiance started introducing me as Dale instead of my boyfriend Dale. I don’t know how long she’d been doing it but I noticed it when she introduced me to a guy co-worker and I said her boyfriend. I asked her why she didn’t say that and she said she just didn’t. We broke up about two months after that.
I’m having second thoughts about a relationship I’m in right now. Reading your article Tyme, I see myself doing some of these things and I didn’t realize it. I wasn’t trying to do it.
What about when she starts seeing another dude? Brian, friends have always been a problem for me. Am I in a relationship with them? No? Stay out of my business. Damn.
I do this! Never knew that. I rarely let my boyfriends around my friends. I like to keep the two separate.
What was the change?
want to make me mad? if i ask if something is wrong don’t tell me nothing when there is something wrong. if i care enough to ask gimme some respect and talk to me.
Kudos on the change. I’m with Dale, I remember when that happened and it was with a guy I wanted her to say “this is my man Hector”. She said “this is Hector” and I WTF’d her and she gave me some excuse. I did it back with a cute chick and my girl didn’t care. We broke up soon after that. Looking back there were a bunch of signs I wasn’t paying attention to.
What about when she stops me from being around her friends? I never see them anymore.
Your list is good for guys trying to get something going but can’t.
If you see it happening what can you do to fix it? Is it too late already? For each thing can you explain what to do?
holy shit tyme, your site is so different! congrats!
"Mentally, she’s not there or something has changed….perhaps it is you?"
if the guy changes the girlfriend is reacting to that?
It’s important to talk to one another. If something is bothering your girl she should tell you. Same for the man. Talk about it.
Getting her to talk is the problem.
Jenni do you want out of your relationship? If I noticed my girlfriend doing these things what do I do to stop the breakup from happening? I thought things weren’t right because she is acting differently but when I ask her about it, she said nothing is wrong.
I broke up with my girlfriend two weeks ago. She said she was relieved. I asked her how long she wanted to break up and she said two months.
Guilty as charged! My exes are good men and I hate to hurt them so I try to make them breakup with me.
What about for the women and online relationships? I caught myself doing a distance between us thing last night. I’m not sure if I want to break up but he irritates me.
My friend hooked me up on this site cause I’m going through a couple of these. He said she’s checked out and I wasn’t vibin it. Maybe I should dump her first.
Phillipe is that you man? Good looking out.
Tyme, sweetheart, give us more! When she keeps pointing out my differences what’s a man supposed to do? If I flip it and ask her if she’s not feeling me will she admit it?
Do you ever do any of these Tyme?
What was the change?
What about the woman that is always right? Can we send questions to you?
I do some of these when I am considering ending a relationship. Once I make up my mind I end it.
I agree on the list. There are a couple others like when she scrutinizes everything I do. When the signs show is it too late to turn things around?
I won’t have to say it again. You’re back for real this time!
I hope.
Hey,
I am 57 male and been married four times and yes my wife displays all that but you know i don’t give a shit any more. she does what she want and i do what i want. she bitchs at me i fly in her face, i don’t have time for the kid crap any more.
thanks
You aren’t going to change your mind and go back to business topics are you?
Lately every word my man says irriates me. I try not to let it show but I end up snapping at him. I’m not sure what it means.
I laughed at the phone. Very cute Tyme. Where is Scrivs?
I caught myself last talking to a dude and when my boyfriend came up I introduced him by name, not title. I didn’t want that dude to know I was taken but I don’t think I want to break up with my boyfriend.
I throw a challenge to the ladies to say what is on their mind while they are feeling it. Life would be a hell of a lot easier if women would speak up at the right times.
HOLY SMACKERS! Look at your site! I like it, especially the phone. OMG I had no idea!
Will you do drink thingies with us? For us? How does that work? I’m going to send you a request email.
About this, I do it when I try to make it work and my boyfriend isn’t doing his part. Too much responsibility on me. Another request idea.
I hate breaking up so I will try to fizzle it out. That doesn’t work. One day it will I hope. Or I’ll get it right LMAO.
This is going to go over 100 comments easy. Nice way to initiate your new spot, huh? What’s up for tomorrow sweetie?
*In the podcast will their be breast talk? Looks around, Mr. Cockblock isn’t around*
When #1 happens would you say the woman has checked out of the relationship already?
Look at you BAAABBYY!
New desgin? Check.
New articles? Check
Videos??? Check
Not boring? Check check check!
Pictures? Check
This is a first. Do a podcast so we can hear your fabuloso voice and we’ll love you forever.
About your article, I had them all happen to me and it was never good. I’ve done them as well. You going to do the guys side?
I’m experiencing the click is gone. I made some mistakes and I don’t seem to be able to get out from under them.
My girlfriend’s friend sent me this link. Think that’s a sign?
Breakups are hard. Who wants to admit it’s about to happen?
I’m late to the party. Felix is in da hizzhouse! Podcasts, videos, sex and relationships. Formula for success me thinks!
I’m checking to see if I’ve been getting any of these lately. Haven’t been getting along with her lately.
My girlfriend is displaying these now. I figured something was up but I think it’s time for the break. Good list.
I got many of these before we broke up. Would have been niced if she talked to me about whatever was eating her up before we broke up. Oh well, celavie.
Check IE: it says it’s Tyme’s site but everything is gone. Where is the blogging stuff? Not that I miss it, I’m with everyone else, I am pleased with the change. Is it really gone or is it coming back?
Your pretty Tyme. My girlfriend and I broke up three weeks ago. I was the one that had the signs. SMILE
I’m not alone getting these signs. So I asked her what was wrong. She said nothing is wrong, she’s fine. That means there is something wrong.
Finally revealed. I’m very proud of you boo. Very proud. Congrats, it looks superb and it feels like you.
The phone is very YOU Tyme. I’m single but I will look out for these if I get in a relationship. I’m enjoying being a bachelor.
Tyme, darlin’ how are you? I admit it, don’t hate me. I like your site now much much more than the other one. I ain’t into the blogging scene. I’m into romance.
I think if the relationship has value she might dip into these because she doesn’t want to hurt her boyfriend. Put it off as long as possible.
My girlfriend started displaying the “I’m always wrong” one recently. I’m going to try a different tactic. I’m going to stay away from her. See what happens.
I get these each relationship. I do some of them back.
You could write a book on how friends can tear a relationship apart.
Why is it that women don’t just say what is on their mind? Ain’t that difficult. They can open their mouth and speak when they want something.
Thanks for the explanation Tyme. I responded to a couple of people and they didn’t show up. It’s ok, looking forward to your next article. You fixed it, that’s the important part.
I see one problem with the comments. The last comment isn’t at the bottom. With this many comments that’s hard to follow.
I think I lost my place LOL. I know it’s here but I can’t find it!
It’s not that important. How you doing dawg? What you been up to? How long has it been?
Why is your comment on top of mine? Your comment is covering mine. The competition continues!
Yeah I know. I view it like snakes shedding their skin. The new skin looks better than the old one.
Comment priority? What browser are you using? You’re killing me man.
I just missed you guys! I’ll try and sneak in this afternoon, you did mean the 11th, right? No time was stated so I hope I don’t miss anything.
Please make it so the last comment is at the bottom.
Sleep tight Tyme!
The gang is back! Hi! *waves to everyone
Tyme can you do an article on how to gracefully breakup? I think everyone wants to avoid that conversation as much as possible, even the one starting it.
What do you mean by threaded?
[...] the past 18 months you could understand it would take some time for it to pick up again. However, 100+ comments later and you can see her audience never left, they were just waiting [...]
Damn, my fiance does four of these. We’re supposed to get married in November. I could tell something was wrong but when I asked her about it, she said everything was ok.
I don’t do these on purpose, but I realize now I do them. I think it is the natural reaction to protect yourself from pain.
10 signs youâre about to be a single man | Dating Advice and Tips…
tymesaid.com
Letâs keep it real, there are always signs there is trouble in a relationshi…
Yeah, um, not exactly sure what to say here so…I’ll flip the comments around because I see what you mean.
After I have some hot chocolate lol.
EDIT: Flipping it around isn’t as easy as I thought because I have to mess with some stylesheets. Let me fix my hot chocolate and I’ll fiddle with it this morning. So expect things to change. In the meantime, please reply at the bottom of the page not clicking reply at the top.
And a warning, when I do this, most of my comments are not going to make any sense lol. You won’t be able to tell who I made them to. Actually I’m glad this happened. Using the plugin makes one dependent on it, and on WP. Ya’ll know I like being independent!
This is much better Tyme. Thank you. Can you make your responses stand out?
This is much better Tyme. Bless you.
I have to fiddle with things. So here is what I’ll do. If you guys can hang tight a minute, I have some 9rules things I have to bust out and I want to get a couple of posted here, then I will fiddle with the comments, then write a 3by9 article. How does that sound?
Sounds busy to me LMAO
Why is it what men have to do for women? This is why I do not take any interest from any women seriously. What for, just to get hurt? No thanks! After what my ex did I will be jumping on and then off. They will never have the opportunity to manipulate me again. This is to give women notice that I will be screwing you over before you have a chance to get to me.
It’s pretty much "On Like Kong". You women have redefined the rules so now I’m gonna let you have it. It’s not going to be what you what all of the time. Spreading your fucking legs is not enough anymore, and quite frankly some of you shouldn’t be. Shut the hell up, loose the weight, and do something for your man you self absorbed bitches.
Fuck you with your rules and requirements. My hope is that more men will adopt these principles and stop the ridicules catering of women who clearly are without any merit.
These are all dead on. Just went through a breakup myself 2 weeks ago. She was doing all of these things for a couple weeks but always said nothing was wrong when asked and i was always depressed because of it. It’s alright though, im a lot happier without her.
@ 136. Run. Run FAR away. She just “wants” to have the MRS title if she is doing FOUR of those things.
Won’t get any better – only worse.
Well, you’re right. I just got single…
Don’t they always? Friends=trouble. I hate it when they get in my business.
Hey Phillipe! Yeah, I know I made a big change without any notice. I wonder how many peeps will be completely pissed off.
Here we go with the Tyme is back thing…
Thank you.
*blush
Crazy. You crazy girl. Wait, did you say boring?
I have no idea and I did it with no notice too. I was tired of talking about the same thing in three spots. Glad you like it.
Most guys recognize it when they expect to be introduced as the boyfriend and the words never come. Correction, not expect, WANT to be introduced as the boyfriend.
I’ve done it too.
No one is wrong all the time. Don’t let her (or anyone else) do that to you. Do you think you’re wrong all the time?
Man, a girl won’t stay with a dude that is wrong all the time. Like Tyme said no one is wrong all the time. Stand up for yourself man.
If she starts seeing other men, she has less interest in you.
The change was in topic for this blog. I wrote about blogging/business related things and now I’m talking about life. Haha, big difference.
Why don’t you like your boyfriend and friends around each other?
Wish my girlfriends were like you. Her friends were always up in our stuff.
Thank you. I’m enjoying the site for the first time in I don’t remember how long.
If you spent time with them before and now she purposely keeps you away from them…well, that’s not a good sign. Ask her about it.
Each relationship is different. How long has it been going on and what signs is she doing? I’m not an expert but I’d suggest talking to her. There isn’t one “right” answer.
Thanks!
Some women take their cues from the man so yes, it is very possible she thinks the man has changed and is reacting to that.
That shouldn’t be a problem.
The blog was about a different subject matter.
Made a note to write about that. If you have other questions, use the link on the sidebar to submit them to me.
Try to talk things out first. Perhaps there is a way to work things out.
More! Wow, it’s Saturday!
Isn’t what you said the same as the guy always being wrong? o_O
I have in the past. I try not to now. I prefer to say what is on my mind and get it off my chest. If I did one, without realizing it, it would be the putting distance ones while I’m still in the “what do I want to do” stage.
Once I detach the guy can feel it like a door slam and I am open about it. I’m not there anymore.
I changed topic matter and removed all the old content.
No one is always right so call her on it when she’s wrong. Yes, you can send questions using the link on the sidebar.
It depends on the woman and how long this has been going on. Some relationships can be repaired, most weren’t meant to.
We do speak up. You guys don’t listen or warp our words into what you want.
I do speak up but men in general are not ones to share their feelings. Can you imagine how hard it is to try to bond with someone that doesn’t share back? What else can a woman do but begin to place distance between each other?
I felt compelled to comment. Don’t most people express their feelings to the person they feel attached to? In my experience if I said something distasteful, it went in one ear, out the other. The relationship started to crumble because of the lack of communication. Why talk to a wall?
I can’t speak for other ladies but I speak up. No reason not to. A woman is going to try to talk it out so many times then she’ll give up.
Honestly, I think most PEOPLE speak up but it falls on death ears. While being ignored the PERSON begins to distance themselves.
You got your challenge. Good luck.
That’s true. I’ve done it. I wasn’t trying to play games. Looking back I’m glad I matured.
I asked the friend what was up. Then my girl. They said nothing but I’m not stoopid. I knew there was.
LOL Wasn’t the name different? I like your new diggs.
Thank you for making the list. I will try to be sneakier next time.
I intend to do a podcast. Let the fun begin!
Yes, I intend to do the guys side eventually. I have a bunch of requests lol.
Felicia fell in love when she got a video from Scrivs. I miss the podcast too. Guaranteed laugh or insight on something. I never heard of Scrivs before showing so many sides of himself.
I couldn’t keep up with Daunte/Donte discussions but I tried which still surprises me. I had too much going on.
Tyme are you going to do the podcast yourself or are you going to have guests?
Alan, all women are different but usually (in my experience) there are serious issues within the relationship if she is around people and downplaying the relationship. In truth, it is better that she be honest and not refer to you as a her boyfriend/significant out of habit if she is having doubts. It’s like saying “I love you” before you leave out or hang up the phone. It becomes a habit and loses its meaning.
Good point. I love you is overused.
Thank you. *hugs and kisses
I feel at home on this site. I haven’t felt that way in a long time. I’m glad you like it. It’s more girly than my norm.
Haha, I won’t say never but I don’t see it in the near future. I write about business topics on 3by9 and 9rules. That’s enough.
Are you mad at him? Deep down I mean.
Of course I like it, it’s your site. I like everything you do. Some more than others. How often are you going to do videos?
It’s one of my favorite parts of the site. *blush
Scrivs is on his own site doing his own thing.
Um, girl, what can I say? There’s something going on there. Who was the guy you were talking too?
Aaah, thank you! I want to do at least one video and podcast a week. We’ll see. I don’t want to make any promises. I’m still adding the stuff I like to the site. I customized the threaded comments and didn’t break things too bad.
Success so far boo. Video and podcast? You didn’t mention that.
You’re supposed to tell all. Did you miss the memo? Women.
Thank you.
Sorry you’re relationship didn’t work out. You ok?
the blogging stuff is GONE!!! Wait, does anyone miss the blogging stuff? Why didn’t ya’ll say anything?
My boyfriend and I broke up several months ago. I displayed a couple of the ones on the list because he didn’t want to deal with our relationship not working out. He didn’t want to accept it.
I think I will be single for a while. I have a lot to get over.
Me too. The single life is what I need right now. I’m putting my career first 2008.
I’m single and luving it. I’ve done a couple of these in the past but it was unintentionally. I was trying to sort through my problems with the relationship.
I haven’t found my special someone yet. I’m single too but I don’t enjoy it, I tolerate it.
As I was approving the comments I thought, “Haha, ask and ye shall receive.”
As many of the replies detail (they might have been in moderation when you commented) there seems to be a disconnect. The ladies express themselves and it falls on death ears. Do you think that happens to you?
Tell me about it.
Um…good luck with that? I mean, what if she doesn’t respond?
I’m doing good. I think I caught up with everyone’s comments and removed the duplicates. I don’t hate you, it seems my site just royally sucked before lol. I was unhappy with it too but I’m pleased as punch with this one.
Did I say pleased as punch? o_O
I don’t blame ya. It’s a waste of time to play games.
I’m sorry things didn’t work out. I hope the pain eases soon.
LMAO I had a mini giggle fit reading your comment. I’ll talk about what I want, this is MY house!
I have more comments that aren’t displaying for some reason. I’m calling it quits and we’ll just move on from here (my sincerest apologies everyone).
I remember that podcast when ya’ll had a bet. You were wearing the zipper shorts and the zipper got stuck. Scrivs was funny with with cockblocks, all in good fun. I miss that cast. It really made my day. Made me laugh.
Was I supposed to? My bad. I’m still scoping out what I want for the site. Wait, why was I supposed to mention it again?
Yeah. I remember Felicia fell in love with Scrivs over his reaction to that. Flipped out and OVA. I miss it too. Who doesn’t? Scrivs told it like it was and they would get all deep but real. Had me reading Daunte(spelling?) on 9rules, WTF? Never found anything like it since then either. They had a synergy that just sucks people in.
Tyme, whatever you did to comments it is much easier to follow. I have a zillion notices. Is there a way to subscribe by RSS instead?
I just spent about 5 minutes trying to find a comment I know is here. Can you go back to normal comments? It is really hard to find ish.
Sup man. You try doing a search in the browser? It will be worse tomorrow.
And I didn’t thread it. Sorry.
It’s a good idea but I don’t see it working. The sites I saw it on didn’t have a lot of topics. We need a forum but turning of the threads would help.
Doing good man, how are you? It’s been a minute, when Tyme closed comments she blocked us talking to her and each other. I felt her though, you know how women have to find themselves lol.
Man, what you drinking? Your comment is fine and did you just compare Tyme to a snake? Shedding it’s skin?????????
LMAOLMAOLMAOLMAOLMAO
Shit, didn’t think of it like that. How about a caterpillar into a butterfly?
Your comments cover mine, I swear. I haven’t had enough to fake your comments having priority over mine.
What took you so long? Internet Explorer. When you thread yours are on top.
http://getfirefox.com
Don’t ever use Internet Explorer again. I just remembered all the comments are going into moderation so we probably will not be able to hook up with the rest of the crew until tomorrow.
I was thinking the same thing cause there should be more people. I’ll download and install it in the morning. I’ll check back tomorrow. Oooh, when I tell Adele Tyme is back she might make me a pot of coffee in the morning.
Daaaammn, Adele is still around? I thought she was getting transferred? Maybe I’m thinking of someone else.
Make it afternoon. Gives Tyme time to do whatever she’s going to do with the comments. Ooh, maybe a podcast will be up tomorrow. That would be nice!
A podcast would make my day. Make Monday go faster.
She DID get transferred and she’s back meaner than a bear without food. I don’t believe I just typed that. I’m gone, see you tomorrow afternoon.
What is with you and animals tonight? LOL. Peace.