Tyme Said

122 Responses

1. Emo Says:

   As a man, I don’t want to touch this. You are hitting our soul Tyme.

   Will Bill be around?

   Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 2:42 pm

2. Emo Says:

   “Talking with Bill I realized that if a man is truly fulfilled no one else will matter but “you” and that is when it clicked for me.”

   You’re right but when I’ve done what you mentioned it was because I was in trouble, we were fighting, there was something I wanted to do she wasn’t doing or I wanted a change in the relationship. There was something wrong but I loved my girlfriend. I wasn’t going to leave her.

   Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 2:46 pm

3. Juanita L. Says:

   It’s a man responsibility to make sure his woman feels secure. How can he do that when he’s focused on another woman?

   For the men, would you mind if your girlfriend was INTO another man, showed her feelings to him and would be okay as long as she didn’t have sex with him?

   Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 2:49 pm

4. Tyme White Says:

   #2 (Emo) - Why not? If the other woman wasn’t worth leaving your girlfriend why risk losing her?

   I told Bill about the entry - we’ll see if he posts something. He might write an entry, who knows? LOL

   #3 (Juanita) - That’s what Bill said (a man’s job to make sure his woman is secure).

   Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 2:51 pm

5. Cool Guy Says:

   I don’t know how to break this to you Tyme but the average man is not going to do what Roger did because the average man does not really love the woman. If he did this situation wouldn’t be an issue. He might love but he’s not feeling the love that lasts.

   Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 2:58 pm

6. Emo Says:

   “Why not? If the other woman wasn’t worth leaving your girlfriend why risk losing her? ”

   Because I don’t think I am risking losing her at the time my hormones are drawn to another woman. I’m not thinking about her at the time. I know that isn’t right but it is the truth.

   I never cheated but I held conversations my girlfriend wouldn’t approve of and that I would not want her holding with other men. I always made sure I was never alone with the women. Ever.

   Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 3:03 pm

7. Blanche Says:

   I too feel insecure with flirting especially when he’ll say there is nothing going on and I know there is. When she logs on IM he wants to talk to her and I saw his expression. I know it is not platonic on his side even if nothing happened.

   Fight fire with fire, that’s what I say. If he can do it, so can I.

   Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 3:06 pm

8. Kathleen Jackson Says:

   My husband is a flirt but the ladies he flirts with is a one time thing. If we go out, he sees a pretty women, he flirts a little by telling her she’s pretty. Odds are against us seeing her again.

   What you talk about is the woman that is a constant. She thinks she has a chance because she wants him. That’s not cool, ever.

   Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 3:41 pm

9. Lisa Says:

   I have this problem with my boyfriend’s ex. He can go weeks without talking to her but let her write a blog entry or post something on Facebook. Who is the first to respond? My boyfriend. It’s really starting to get on my nerves. I don’t say anything because he’ll email her instead. Or send text messages. Or IM - which I think would anger me because of the amount of time they’d spend talking to each other.

   I feel like he’s only with me because he can’t be with her.

   Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 3:47 pm

10. Curious George Says:

    “My husband is a flirt but the ladies he flirts with is a one time thing. If we go out, he sees a pretty women, he flirts a little by telling her she’s pretty. Odds are against us seeing her again.”

    With a normal girl that is usually how it is. Tyme is an exception and I doubt dudes realize that going into the triangle. The odds are much higher that Tyme will cross paths with the woman. If Tyme senses it I don’t see Tyme holding back in finding out exactly what is going on. That’s what women do. A man isn’t going to tell the woman he’s flirting with not to talk to his girlfriend lol.

    Honestly Tyme the average person doesn’t know it is happening.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 4:00 pm

11. Emo Says:

    “Let’s put this in perspective. While I was paying for a guy to go to school, paying his bills, buying motorcycles, escalating his lifestyle, taking him on trips, sexing him up…and let’s not forget cooking for him, helping him with his career/school, taking care of his kids, being that woman he could take to work functions, take home to Mom and she knew her son was well taken care of….some chick that, end game didn’t matter, was up in our mix because he he had a crush.”

    My co-worker said, “Stop messing with fools” and she said she’s taking the same advice. We’re having a conversation on my floor about this. Right now it’s split whether it is harmless if it is not acted on. Some are in agreement with Tyme’s argument it is being acted on my allowing it to continue. The men are saying they didn’t do anything wrong if they didn’t touch the woman.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 4:07 pm

12. Tyme White Says:

    “I don’t know how to break this to you Tyme but the average man is not going to do what Roger did because the average man does not really love the woman.”

    That’s depressing Cool Guy.

    “I too feel insecure with flirting especially when he’ll say there is nothing going on and I know there is. When she logs on IM he wants to talk to her and I saw his expression. I know it is not platonic on his side even if nothing happened.”

    That would piss me off. Good luck with that.

    @Emo (11): Yup, that’s what I’m doing. That’s why I mad at myself because I allowed myself to get the bitch slap in the past. I refuse to let it happen again in the future.

    ” If we go out, he sees a pretty women, he flirts a little by telling her she’s pretty. Odds are against us seeing her again.”

    I think that is what bothers me. The continued presence without the other woman knowing the truth. Or me. Someone is being played for a fool and I decided from now on it will not be me.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 4:21 pm

13. Helene Says:

    I don’t know of a man who would not flinch if their significant other say their web activity, their cell phone, etc. If nothing is going on there is nothing to hide. When a man tries to hide talking to a woman there is something very very wrong.

    The times I caught it was going on I asked him to make a choice and he picked me but it wasn’t long before another one popped up. I didn’t think about it being wrong for me to have to ask.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 4:26 pm

14. Felix Says:

    “Stop messing with fools”

    That sums it up Tyme. You know what it is like when a man loves you. Don’t settle for anything less than that.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 4:34 pm

15. Emo Says:

    Brought up at work: Tyme did not say her man couldn’t be friends with the woman. She said her problem is with a man allowing a woman to think she’ll be Tyme’s replacement or I assume that Tyme doesn’t exist at all (he’s uninvolved).

    Also brought up that feelings can grow before a relationship starts.

    Last point brought up is that being in the public eye Tyme needs a man that can handle the relationships in his life or another Roger situation will happen. Imagine that situation happening now?

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 4:42 pm

16. YoYoSaun Says:

    You were serious about writing an entry!

    Dayne did exactly what men DO. His eyes lit up when he saw her. That’s why I told you if she and his girlfriend ever crossed paths it would get ugly.

    Knowing your history you scare the shit out of men and I think that causes them to get backups. Also note with Roger he missed you like hell because of the distance but he found out the hard way they weren’t replacements.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 5:30 pm

17. Scrivs Says:

    Meh, there are so many different levels of flirting that you can’t just say don’t flirt if you are in love. It’s in our nature to flirt with people, both men and women. It keeps part of us alive. The problem is when you pursue something because of the flirting.

    How many times does a man tell a woman to stop flirting with everyone but she just says she is being friendly? Shit we all have said it I’m sure. The issue is never flirting, the issue is caring about multiple people at once.

    I flirt with probably everyone I come across, but that is no threat to anyone if I’m involved with them. Most of the time you can’t control if another individual thinks they have a chance with your man. You know how many of us men look at a women that is taken and whether she talks to us or not we think we can steal her away?

    But that stuff I bring up is the harmless, platonic flirting that you probably speak of. Any flirting beyond that is territory where you know if you get caught it will be an ass whooping. But that is some fun flirting as well and I’m sure all the goodie 2 shoes here have done it before in their lives. We all need a little adventure.

    Now I’m curious to know if Tyme dated Bill would they give each other dating advice or would their brains meld and the perfect dating specimen would be formed?

    Finally, what’s up to my people. Hope you guys aren’t being soft on those ladies.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 5:32 pm

18. Marion Says:

    Hi Scrivs!

    You think it is okay to flirt? Does the girl know it’s harmless? Do you let other women know you are in love or taken?

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 5:43 pm

19. Scrivs Says:

    I think you have to flirt to maintain sanity. Women and men flirt to know they are still attractive to others. Again though there are levels of flirting from just playing to hey if you say the right thing we could get a hotel room during lunch.

    If a girl is involved with me she knows how I am anyways. If she doesn’t trust it to be harmless then she goes psycho and I go solo. Easy enough.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 5:49 pm

20. Jason Says:

    Scrivs, that’s how I view it but my woman doesn’t mess around. She is like Tyme. She doesn’t mind if I flirt as long as I don’t keep flirting with the same girl. What are your thoughts on that Scrivs?

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 5:49 pm

21. Lisa Says:

    Scrivs what actions cause the line to go from innocent flirting to something more?

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 5:55 pm

22. Stephanie Says:

    I get what Tyme is saying. I get what Scrivs is saying. I think Tyme even agrees with Scrivs on the harmless flirting.

    What’s harmless? I think what Tyme is saying that a guy can flirt all he wants as long as the woman he’s flirting realizes his interest isn’t with her. I don’t think that is asking a lot.

    If a man is flirting, it continues to happen with the same female and the female has no idea the man’s heart is supposed to be with another woman, that is crossing the line right?

    What types of flirting would be off-limits for your girlfriend to do?

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 6:00 pm

23. Batman Says:

    Crossing the line is taking it from words to actions. When I flirt it’s harmless, I’m flirting with more than one woman at the club. If I call her and flirt, tell her I want to see her, get jealous if she sees someone else, encourage her to want me, make her think she’s special; that is not flirting. If I claim I don’t talk on the phone, won’t talk to my girlfriend but find the time to talk to this firl I’m flirting with there is something amiss. If I send IMS, cards, text messages, Twitters, etc. to the flirt girl and not my girlfriend that is not harmless.

    I think that is what Tyme is talking about and what Scrivs meant about caring for two people. In that case Tyme walk, if you are doing all that you do and a man doesn’t appreciate it enough to cut the other women off, it wouldn’t work anyway.

    That is what busted me btw, when my girlfriend happened across my cellphone. She saw all the calls and text messages but I’m don’t like to talk on the phone. She became very insecure and it was rough for awhile.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 6:25 pm

24. Mike M. Says:

    “While I was paying for a guy to go to school, paying his bills, buying motorcycles, escalating his lifestyle, taking him on trips, sexing him up…and let’s not forget cooking for him, helping him with his career/school, taking care of his kids, being that woman he could take to work functions, take home to Mom and she knew her son was well taken care of….some chick that, end game didn’t matter, was up in our mix because he he had a crush.”

    This is what the typical man longs for. A partner in life. Add to that you never told your man no sexually and you’re an angel sent from God. A man that risks that isn’t all-in the relationship in the first place. That is when you walk away. When I love a woman I love her, I don’t cross the line because hurting her ends up hurting me. I hate it when I hurt her. I don’t want her to do the same to me to teach me a lesson either.

    Pertaining to the two women, in my experience one always was a front runner. One was preferred and I learned (the hard way by losing one) to keep focused on her.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 6:54 pm

25. Raimona Says:

    Tyme do you think being generous with flirting you got what was coming to you? I remember Roger, he had long hair and he was sexy. You used to joke with your female readers about sharing him. There was open flirting going on.

    I don’t remember the name of the woman that caused the house of cards to fall down and I realize she wasn’t a reader but if he felt comfortable doing it around you don’t you think he’d do it when you weren’t around? I don’t remember all the details but I remember the girl was sprung and didn’t want to let him go.

    Maybe if you weren’t open about flirting the men in your life wouldn’t abuse the privilege.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 7:27 pm

26. Emo Says:

    Hi Scrivs, what’s up man?

    “Any flirting beyond that is territory where you know if you get caught it will be an ass whooping. But that is some fun flirting as well and I’m sure all the goodie 2 shoes here have done it before in their lives. We all need a little adventure.”

    I bet the man’s adventure isn’t fun when Tyme finds out. :=)

    We talked about this a lot at work. The ladies were very insecure about other women because of the fear of cheating. Two of the women are in long distant relationships and their fear is heightened with women who are supposed to be platonic but don’t act that way. When we got to Batman’s comment about not liking to talk on the phone but talking to other women (and not them) the went off because that is what they experience. For the record, I think that’s wrong. A flirt is never supposed to have priority over over the love.

    I think Tyme is talking about a guy being stuck between two women like Scrivs mentioned. I’m not sure walking away is the best answer.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 7:36 pm

27. Foreman Says:

    Hi Scrivs & Tyme.

    You have a wonderful woman in your life and she knows you are crushed over another. If this other chick means “that” much to you, break up and move on. If she’s not worth enough to lose the woman you love, kick the bitch to the curb.

    That is when the man has to make a choice. You said she KNOWS about the crush. Of course she is going to become insecure because your friend isn’t being a MAN.

    I think we’ve probably all been in this position Tyme. Next time it happens tell him tell him to have his bitch do “it” and don’t expect anything from you. Even if he does go to the other woman how many times does that work out?

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 7:53 pm

28. Colleen Says:

    50 Cent held a chat not too long ago and he talked about a male growing up, transitioning out of stupid ass behavior and becoming a man. I think you could benefit from looking at that because it really hit home to me. I’m going to try to remember where I saw it.

    I’m a flirt but the men I flirt with know I’m mentally caught up in a man. We aren’t at the monogamous relationship stage yet. My relationship with him is very weird. We met at a distance, got to know each other very well, started to fall for each other, couldn’t act on it because our employer does not allow inter-office romances. He was transferred to another division, in another city and technically, that’s a different company so we can do something now. We’re scared, shy, and hesitant but we have strong feelings for each other. We could easily slide into a relationship because the feelings have been there so long. All my men friends know I’m hooked on him though.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 7:57 pm

29. Evil Philanthropist Says:

    Tyme, remember that in most cases the “other woman” is a man’s penis wanting to insert itself in a new hole. It has little to do with whether the female is a woman of substance. That is why you were confused on why your men were interested in women that didn’t compare to you. It was all about sex most likely.

    That’s when a man should cut the cord from the woman. Don’t put himself in the position of messing up with the lady that matters. If you have to tell a man to do that there will most likely be problems like that in the future.

    A man that can’t control his dick or his desires is not a man a woman should try to give her heart to. It will just be broken in tyme.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 8:03 pm

30. Missy Says:

    /waves at Scrivs

    There is nothing more painful than seeing the man you love give the same look he used to give you to another woman. I found out by accident. My boyfriend was giving a video presentation. After the presentation there was a Q&A. A woman asked a question, he read the question and got a goofy look on his face, his eyes changed, he started smiling and animatedly answered her question. I cried because I knew something was up. I asked him about it later and he said it was nothing, he never met her. He invited her to the demo and he knew I would be watching.

    Then the phone calls started. And the emails. And the cards. And the text messages. And the instant messages. The Skype calls. I found while I was scrambling to get 15 minutes of quality time with him the other woman was getting hours. I cried about it for two days and ended up breaking up with him. He wants to get back together. How can I trust him?

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 8:39 pm

31. Artie Says:

    Sup Scrivs? Know exactly what you mean about harmless flirting. I had a problem with it once and that was my fault because I didn’t make things clear. My girlfriend needed to hear the words that I wasn’t interested in a woman I once was. After hearing the words, she was fine. Different women have different requirements. What was obvious to me wasn’t obvious to her.

    Tyme I agree with Scrivs in what you describe is a man having feelings for another woman. That’s a different problem.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 9:02 pm

32. Felicia Says:

    /Gives Scrivs a big ole hug

    As one that had a huge crush on you and experiencing withdrawal systems when you disappeared I can relate to a woman in your life not feeling the need to be worried. You seem to shower your women with the love you feel, how could she not know very clearly she is the one?

    Because you do that I could see her becoming insecure (I know I would) if you stopped for some reason. Or it wasn’t clear.

    I wish more men were like you Scrivs, open about their feelings and not afraid to express them.

    Tyme what are we going to do with you? You suffer from trying to be over understanding. If you are doing all you stated for the man you love and he returns the favor by flirting around inappropriately with another woman, it’s time to move on. If he wants you he will show you without a doubt it is you he wants and you’ll probably go overboard and over-indulge him LOL.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 9:25 pm

33. Scrivs Says:

    Thanks for all the hellos and all that other cool shit you people shower upon my beautiful body. I won’t have to bathe for days now.

    Let’s just get right down to it. Men flirt when something is missing in their life. We don’t do it just to do it. If we are flirting with intentions then something is missing.

    I’m going to call Tyme out (timeout?) here because people will think WTF does Tyme do wrong for a guy to flirt with someone else and then possibly cheat on her. I know a ton of you treat your men like Tyme does and that is great, but to be honest some men like a challenge. They want a woman that is a slight pain in the ass. It’s great to have someone that is there for you when you need them, but a small bit of drama can keep things fresh for some people.

    Sure it might be sick, but I think we all have our own twisted little way of making life a bit more adventurous.

    Now when it comes to what levels of flirting are okay you really don’t need to ask me that because you know what you can handle. I’ve dated waitresses where I know their money comes from massive flirting and I’ve been with women that wouldn’t bat an eye at someone else. I know my levels of flirting and no it’s not my job to tell a woman directly if I’m in involved with someone else, she will know and the flirting is just fun.

    And Felicia love, the world would be better with people not like me, we are the dangerous ones because we understand how women work and use that to our advantage. Better off with the fools who think they are playing the game and can’t get caught.

    Tyme pulls men left and right so I’m sure we don’t have to worry about her. It’s the poor women who get a man once every 2 years that don’t ever work out that need our help.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 10:01 pm

34. Edrei Says:

    Flirting is in my blood, that’s all there is to it. Given the chance, I would flirt with any woman that’s interested.

    Of course under normal circumstances, crushing over one another which you like while exclusively going out with someone else seems like a bad recipe. One which I am going through right now.

    Truth be told, there is another solution to the issue. Realize why you do it and who you do it for.

    Maybe I’m a lucky bastard to have a girlfriend who understands that even if you like someone for who they are, that intimate flirting isn’t going to go far because I know who I want to spend the rest of my life with.

    The question that every man or woman in a relationship has to ask themselves is this. Are you doing it for yourself or for another?

    I really like my friend and we (both my girlfriend and I) has a feeling she has a crush on me too. Yet, because I’m selfish, I want to have both, but I’m not stupid enough to jeopardize everything so I choose the one person I know who’s always there for me to watch my back. The one person I made a promise to on the first day to push her farther than she could dream possible. Through my own admitted selfishness, I know what I want in my life and in my relationship.

    Little can be said for people who don’t admit or are too scared to admit what they really want in life and love. To me at least, such denial leads to a wandering obsession. One that can destroy lives and loves.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 10:09 pm

35. Felicia Says:

    You always say that Scrivs but you don’t seem like the type to take advantage. You would be purposely hurting someone. That doesn’t sound like you. You’re just being modest.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 10:17 pm

36. Tyme White Says:

    I thought about this a while before responding.

    The only time other women (flirting) have been an issue:

    1) When I’m not around (distance relationship for some reason)
    2) When the guy isn’t happy with his life.

    I never had that happen with a guy that was around me, thank God. However, the other women stopped the distance from being removed so I guess in the end the relationship(s) weren’t meant to be. The reason the local relationships ended was differences in the directions our lives were going. I’m ambitious, they weren’t. Oh well. Cheating was only a problem for me twice, both distance relationships (one ex was in the military, the other ex was just distance). I don’t have short relationships so I am actually very blessed.

    Things never got “old” and I don’t know what that is like in a relationship, just like I don’t know what it is like to have a fight over something “big”. And as I did a lot for them I am blessed in them doing a lot for me too (within their means). You know a man loves you when he walks 12 miles through a blizzard just to see you. And of course I know some of my ex’s were in the position of making that choice and chose me. My relationships weren’t one sided.

    @Missy - that sucks and I imagine getting the look on his face is hard to forget. He broke the trust by lying to you and continuing to act on feelings he had for another woman. Be thankful you walked away when you did.

    @Scrivs - to each his/her own. I think I’m enough of a challenge to get but once that phase is over there is so much more to do to keep things fresh (IMO) and I am probably a PIA enough. But to those guys that I encounter that enjoy that sort of adventure they should be real excited watching the adventure created when I walk out of their life.

    @Evil - yes I realize that. My problem is when the flirting is a symptom of a problem. I expect the man I love (who supposedly loves me) to fucking talk to ME, not the chick he’s flirting with, ME so we can resolve it. If it can’t be resolved, end it, then he can have the chick. The more time he spends flirting with some other chick avoiding the problem the worse the problem gets (the one he’s too much of a wimp to say) for us.

    Everyone has something that turns them off on a person. For some men it’s heavy chicks. For some women it is bald mean. This is my deal breaker because it turns me off on the guy. I’m no longer sexually attracted (am I supposed to be turned on by a man into someone else?), I don’t respect him (how can you respect someone who avoids a problem and purposely does something he knows will hurt you?), the trust gets broken…it just ends up going down hill JUST as it would if I did the same to him. Hell, men don’t like it when a woman has sex with other men AFTER they break up - you think me flirting to avoid a problem is going to fly? Hell no, he’s going to wonder why I didn’t respect him enough or love him enough to try to solve the problem or replenish what is missing.

    Yet, because I’m selfish, I want to have both, but I’m not stupid enough to jeopardize everything so I choose the one person I know who’s always there for me to watch my back.

    EXACTLY! and that’s my point. When you really love someone you don’t risk it. You make a choice, see where it goes, have no regrets.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 11:43 pm

37. Tyme White Says:

    I forgot to tell you guys to have a good night. I feel figgidty. Going to go out and see what kind of trouble I can get into.

    Posted on May 14th, 2008 at 11:44 pm

38. Terence Says:

    Guys don’t tell you the problem because of fear of you walking away. They were both hiding a big secret from you. Of course it was easier to get caught up in another woman temporarily than tell you the secret. Those women weren’t serious, they were a distraction.

    I haven’t talked to you in a while. I’ll call you later.

    Posted on May 15th, 2008 at 12:12 am

39. Octavio Says:

    Tyme your men deny they have an interest in you at first, then somehow admit it. The pattern is to avoid before progressing. Pick stronger men and you won’t have the same problems.

    You aren’t like the average woman. You aren’t high maintenance to a man, don’t demand to be taken care of, respect and appreciate when you are treated right, don’t care about the large ring, bring heaps of drama, you have a long list of benefits. You just Twittered you are going out, you are feisty and you’re independent.

    You’re intimidating otherwise men wouldn’t react the way they do. They’d realize sending a text message in the middle of the night saying I love you would give them great sex for a month - and do it instead of flirting with an insignificant woman. Scale up!

    Posted on May 15th, 2008 at 12:27 am

40. John M. Says:

    Your post reminds me of a prior episode of ScrivsTyme. I don’t remember if you said what Scrivs did wrong but he put you on blast because you talked about what he did with someone else before you talked to him. He asked you why, if you had a problem with what he did, you discussed it with anyone else but him? How would the problem be solved if he didn’t know it existed? He told you to never do that again. If there was a problem don’t discuss it with anyone else before talking to him. He was frustrated with you and you didn’t think you had done anything wrong or it was a big deal but later in the episode you apologized again because you understood his point of view.

    I remember that episode because I habitually talked to my boys before my girl and I stopped doing it as much. On important issues I talked to her first and vented to my boys.

    I think we all agree harmless flirting is ok, it’s the other flirting we’ve probably all done, know is wrong but do it anyway that’s the problem. Isn’t that the same thing Scrivs was correcting with you? A man had a problem and instead of talking to you about it, he’s messing around with other women. You don’t know the problem is there so how can you attempt to make things better?

    Posted on May 15th, 2008 at 7:39 am

41. Arlene Says:

    I remember that episode! My best friend and I had a similar problem. We talked to our boyfriends before each other because we were in love! I laugh at it now but back then there was drama between us unnecessarily.

    “I never had that happen with a guy that was around me, thank God. However, the other women stopped the distance from being removed so I guess in the end the relationship(s) weren’t meant to be.”

    I bet it did. Who would relocate when the boyfriend is acting like an ass? In college my boyfriend at the time and I were accepted into different colleges. Two months into the new semester I missed him and we talked about me applying to his college the better of the two. Unfortunately, he started partying, kicking it with other women and I was tossed to the side barely able to get quality time on the phone let alone in person. He asked when I was coming and I asked him why should I? We broke up and it was years later that he told me he acted up because he missed me and didn’t handle that well.

    Posted on May 15th, 2008 at 7:57 am

42. Felix Says:

    I forgot about that episode. Scrivs made a VERY valid point and that’s another area where we are all probably guilty. How many times have we talked to someone else to avoid drama? :=)

    Posted on May 15th, 2008 at 10:45 am

43. Marquee Says:

    I don’t see what the problem is. Unless I missed a very large piece of the pie here Tyme didn’t say her boyfriends couldn’t or shouldn’t flirt. She didn’t say they couldn’t or shouldn’t have friends of the opposite sex. She said the women in his life should respect his feelings for her or their relationship and if the women cannot do that don’t encourage their behavior. Don’t draw another woman into the situation, talk about the problem.

    If a man doesn’t want to the women in his life to know he’s not available that in itself is a problem. Why doesn’t he want them to know?

    Posted on May 15th, 2008 at 11:11 am

44. Tyme White Says:

    Yeah, I remember that episode. I remember when I get in trouble lol. Scrivs was right, I shouldn’t have spoken to someone else prior to him even though Scrivs could see what I said (I wasn’t hiding anything from him). It was later in the episode where I thought about how Scrivs felt finding it out that way. I didn’t think it was a big deal but looking at it from his perspective I understood how he felt.

    My “house” is clean. A man coming into my life doesn’t have to deal with my ex’s (which used to be a huge problem), my children’s father, etc. It took some time to “clean” things up but I’m enjoy the lack of that drama.

    If you read Scrivs’ Twitter you know we’re working on 9 sites. Yes, 9 sites (it just came out that way). I’m very committed to relocating and very focused on my career (making those sites successful) so I’m very busy and don’t have time for non-sense. The time I spend asking a guy what’s wrong, being told nothing is wrong, knowing something is, wracking my brain trying to figure out how I can fix it, we could be having sex, taking a trip or I could be converting the place into an Roman castle playing Cleopatra.

    Wow, I’m going to have to remember that one. Cleopatra. I could seriously rock that.

    Posted on May 15th, 2008 at 12:15 pm

45. Bill Cammack Says:

    Basically, the issue in this scenario is respect. If the guy knows his girl doesn’t like it when he flirts with other chicks and he does in in her face anyway, he’s disrespecting her and either he doesn’t care about that or knows that he “has it like that” where he can do what he wants and still get her to perform.

    The other issue is expecting fidelity in a relationship. Guys know that women are going to request it, so they’re ready and willing to agree to it. Meanwhile, they go about their lives as usual, as if they were single. If the chick catches you, what difference does it make? You have at least three more that you’ve been working on anyway. All she’s going to do is leave you, which frees up more time for the other chicks.

    The only potential loss for the guy in this scenario is if he actually DID care whether he was with his current girlfriend or not and he wasn’t smart enough to change up his ways and give her the respect she requested before she bounced.

    Posted on May 15th, 2008 at 12:56 pm

46. Scrivs Says:

    If you start to give women respect they start to think for themselves. We can’t have that.

    Posted on May 15th, 2008 at 1:11 pm

47. Brad Says:

    If it is any consolation men go through the same thing:

    http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_400/426b_relationship_expert.html

    Now, regarding whether or not she’s just playing head games or trying to set another guy up to start dating him, think of it this way: You’re strolling down the beach with Serena and some dude comes up to her and starts telling her how beautiful she is. Instead of saying thanks for the compliment, but you’re coming on to me and I already have a boyfriend, she laps up all the attention like a starving cat while you’re off buying the Coca-Colas. Why? Because like I said, one guy isn’t enough for her.

    Complicated? It isn’t complicated at all, Dawson. It’s actually very simple. What you’re doing is RATIONALIZING your girl’s actions. And like I just said, it is what it is.

    I think that sums it up nicely.

    Posted on May 15th, 2008 at 3:06 pm

48. Emily Q. Says:

    I don’t like that site but I agree with the comment. I think people do try to rationalize people doing wrong things. Why didn’t he call me when he said he would? He was busy…but he had time to talk to others? How often is it in those situations where the person claims to be soooo busy or doesn’t talk on the phone talks to NO ONE? Instead of realizing the truth, he doesn’t want to talk to you, the woman rationalizes it.

    Harmless flirting is okay. Allowing or letting a person to think you are into them when you have strong feelings for someone else, is making a fool out of someone.

    Posted on May 16th, 2008 at 10:10 am

49. Bruce Kim Says:

    However, the other women stopped the distance from being removed so I guess in the end the relationship(s) weren’t meant to be.

    I think people unintentionally sabotage their relationships that do not have anything to do with bringing other people into the relationship. I’m in the middle of a relocation for work. If my girlfriend asked once how it was going, if there was anything she could do to help, or even talked about it with me I’m sitting on a cloud with purple skin and blue hair. She doesn’t take it seriously. She knows it is happening but she doesn’t act like a partner in the process. It makes me wonder if this is how it will always be.

    She is going to be very surprised when she realizes I’m looking at moving further out than she’s thinking.

    Talking with friends over the love is another one that can get a couple into trouble, especially if the friends are advising something that pulls me away from my girl.

    Posted on May 16th, 2008 at 11:11 am

50. Chris Says:

    Nice site Tyme. I had a great time last night. You are cute and entertaining.

    I read your entry and the comments. Number 47 I think hits the nail on the head. Stop rationalizing people doing fucked up things. Men are guilty but so are women. You know how many women are talking money from four or five dudes? They play the dudes against each other. Is the girl doing wrong or the dudes doing wrong by letting her to get away with it?

    Posted on May 16th, 2008 at 12:48 pm

51. Maureen Says:

    Tyme, if I were you I would beat him at his own game. As a female you will always be able to pool more men to flirt with than a man can pool women. Shower yourself in men and innocently say, “I’m not doing anything, it’s innocent!”.

    Posted on May 16th, 2008 at 4:34 pm

52. Scrivs Says:

    If every man was like Pootie Tang the world would be a better place.

    Posted on May 16th, 2008 at 6:33 pm

53. Felix Says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flqAvJxgKJQ

    Posted on May 16th, 2008 at 7:43 pm

54. Scrivs Says:

    More like this:

    Posted on May 16th, 2008 at 8:00 pm

55. Scrivs Says:

    Bah didnt’ embed:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cgdZVLfi_Y

    Posted on May 16th, 2008 at 8:00 pm

56. Dwayne Says:

    Some women are hard to talk to because they have tantrums when they don’t get their way. It’s easier to momentarily lose oneself in another woman until it blows over. Why make my sheer hell if I don’t have to? No sex, arguments, tension.

    You don’t seem to be that kind of a woman. You make yourself available to strangers to talk to you so I’m assuming your man has quadruple access to you, like 24/7 access. There isn’t a reason not to talk to you. You never denied your man sex, that speaks volumes and makes you extremely desirable. If I missed you, wanted to hear your voice, wanted to hear you cum - and you weren’t around, I wouldn’t think twice about picking up the phone no matter what time it was. It’s a given if you were around I’d do it. If I was mad at you I’d probably want to cool off, perhaps might leave for awhile but I don’t think I would talk it up with another female. If you found out, and you seem to sense these things, I’d be in deeper trouble.

    Posted on May 16th, 2008 at 10:36 pm

57. Dwayne Says:

    I don’t think it is unfair for you to want the women in your man’s life to know their place, not with him. Or to know your place, with him.

    Posted on May 16th, 2008 at 10:39 pm

58. Emma Says:

    I remember the terms of the distance relationships. They were open, he could have sex with other women based on three conditions: 1) He talked to Tyme about it and 2) they were one time situations 3) Once the distance was resolved it stopped immediately because it would then be cheating (or if she was in town I think). No exchanging phone numbers, going on dates, emails, text messages, or instant messages. Meet, fuck, dump. Tyme could do the same thing. Tyme, to me, has always been very clear about her dislike of her man inappropriate attachments with other women. I couldn’t have that arrangement, I prefer my boyfriend to be faithful regardless. If I remember correctly the casual sex didn’t trip up her boyfriends it was telling HER about it that fucked them up. They felt uncomfortable talking about it.

    I bring it up because that was an indicator. DOING it didn’t bother them more than TALKING about what they’d done.

    Posted on May 16th, 2008 at 10:54 pm

59. Rita Says:

    When you have a connection with someone, a true connection, you know it and that is why people will say in the response to the question how do you know it’s love, “you just know”. If you are ever lucky enough to have a true love connection it endures everything. Problems. Pain. Happiness. Distance. Disappointments. Frustration.

    What I think people forget when they get into the flirting habits is that the connection that bonds two people together through the good times is the connection that bonds two people together through the bad times. If you look at the instances where other people are drawn into a relationship did the person doing the flirting talk to the person they love about what is missing for them in the relationship? Usually not and that is why so many relationships don’t last.

    When you have a connection you can sense things about the other person whether the person is around you or not. Haven’t we all heard the story of a mother knowing their child was in trouble thousands of miles away? The same is true for some people in relationships. My husband and I fight but knowing it isn’t about a deal-breaker situation, it blows over quickly.

    Tyme is being very honest about what her “deal-breaker” situations are. Perhaps she has others but this is one situation that will cause the relationship to terminate. If her boyfriend engages in this activity knowing how she feels he sent a very clear message - he no longer wants to be with Tyme. There is no explanation to fall back on.

    Outside the deal-breaker situations everything will be worked through and although you young people might not understand the value in this now one day in the future you will. If you’ve ever been in the situation of hurting the person you love and their response was “it’s over” or a threat to leave you’ll understand the value in knowing the deal-breaker situations up front.

    Most people feel the same way Tyme does. How often have you heard a man refer to his girlfriend as his woman? It’s the same thing. The point of being a relationship is the benefit of doing things together as a team.

    One last point, the reason why another person seems attractive is because they don’t really know you so it’s “fun”. Do they know all your secrets? Do they know the bad things you’ve done? Do they know you love one person but are flirting with others? If they knew these things you’re appeal would drop dramatically which is the exact reason why the person flirting hides it. That is the neon sign indicating it’s not real. In comparison the person that loves you and has a connection with you wants to know those things or knows those things, loves you as you are, and still wants to be with you.

    Looking at it that way, why would anyone else matter?

    Don’t care about what strangers think about you. Sure it’s nice to walk into a restaurant and heads turn. I’ve been with my husband 30 years and if I get carded by a man I flirt a little bit, like saying I could take him home. My husband jokes back and it’s all in good fun. Everyone needs that type of ego boost every once in awhile. That is not to be confused with the gleam in my husband’s eye that he’s still attracted to me after all this time and wants to share his life with me. That is more important than a stranger being attracted to you.

    Posted on May 17th, 2008 at 1:44 pm

60. Rita Says:

    I forgot to mention I looked at the movie and the man reminds me of someone. I can’t place the face but I know I’ve seen it recently.

    Posted on May 17th, 2008 at 1:45 pm

61. Alan Says:

    I just experienced a similar situation. I had the choice to continue to flirt or invest in something more permanent. I met Renee online awhile back on a forum. She lives in CA, I live in NY. I didn’t realize I had an interest in her until she mentioned a couple of weeks ago she saw a movie when she went out on a date. I was jealous and that surprised me because usually she went with her girlfriends. I don’t know where the feelings came from or how long they were there but they were there.

    There was another woman that wasn’t platonic (actually there are more, some local, but this one is on the top of the stack). She’s sexy, has cute ways and we clicked. She ended up moving an hour plane ride from me. She was planned to come to NY the beginning of May and we arranged to meet when she got here when we first started talking.

    Around the time the second woman was coming to NY I realized I had feelings for Renee. She moved a couple of months ago and I still hadn’t met her. If I was a priority even with a move we could have worked together to get a plane ticket for her to spend at least a day with me. She could stay at my place even if I slept on the couch. I realized she was coming to NY for another reason NOT to see me and thinking “Oh, I’ll see her in May” was just an excuse to justify me not meeting her yet.

    I watch AlphaCat and LisaLavie’s videos on YouTube and they had the same situation. I watched them turn their relationship from friends on to a couple on YouTube. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect because I realized which of the two women were like LisaLavie. There wasn’t a reason for Renee to meet me and I KNOW if she and I had the level of conversation the second woman and I did, I would have met her by now. We went from talking only about trivial things online to talking on the phone, sharing experiences, watching movies together. It’s fun and I know in a couple of weeks we’ll be at the “we have to meet” stage because we’re just starting to admit sexual attraction which is ALWAYS fun. Renee will come see me or we’ll make arrangements to meet, no doubt about it. Like AlphaCat and LisaLavie we’ll work TOGETHER to make it work out.

    I decided not to meet the second woman, I blew her off and said something came up. I could pick it up later if things don’t work with Renee but I don’t see it happening.

    For those that like to dabble on the edge look at it like it is, don’t rationalize a situation into what you hope it COULD be.

    Hold out for the right guy Tyme. There are still good guys out there!

    Posted on May 17th, 2008 at 7:55 pm

62. Tyme White Says:

    @Rita - Where you thinking of Bill Cammack?

    @Emma - You forgot condom up.

    I glanced through the comments - ya’ll are deep. I’ll read them more thoroughly and respond appropriately soon. Promise.

    Posted on May 18th, 2008 at 1:10 pm

63. Alex Says:

    LOL they do alike.

    Posted on May 18th, 2008 at 6:26 pm

64. Alex Says:

    *look alike

    Posted on May 18th, 2008 at 6:27 pm

65. Scrivs Says:

    OMG BILL LOOKS LIKE POOTIE TANG! No wonder he slick with the ladies.

    Posted on May 18th, 2008 at 9:57 pm

66. Emo Says:

    They say everyone has a twin. Pootie Tang’s is Bill. They could be twins.

    Posted on May 18th, 2008 at 11:13 pm

67. Curious George Says:

    Scrivs looks liks Chris Brown. Tyme looks like Janet Jackson as a kid. Bill looks like Pootie Tang. The problem comes when the person you look like it ugly. =)

    Posted on May 19th, 2008 at 9:57 am

68. Leslie Moore Says:

    In the mouth I see the resemblance. How cute that Bill’s look-a-like is a Dating Genius.

    Posted on May 19th, 2008 at 11:14 am

69. Felix Says:

    I linked to the video because I couldn’t remember who Scrivs was referring to. Once I did, I thought of Bill but I didn’t want to say anything so I linked the video instead. Bill looks like the actor when he was young with smaller eyes.

    Curious: Scrivs doesn’t like being compared to Chris Brown. I think he’s tired of it more so than being insulted by it. Scrivs is a good sport about it understanding that people will and can say anything about you.

    I remember when he was compared to JayZ because Scrivs is the party-type business owner. They look nothing alike.

    Posted on May 19th, 2008 at 12:55 pm

70. Scrivs Says:

    I get called Chris Brown about 5x a night whenever I go out. I think I just want to be famous enough where people tell others that they look like me. Oh well, helps me get…ummm…dinner.

    Posted on May 19th, 2008 at 7:52 pm

71. Yoshi Says:

    I feel you on that Scrivs. Good to know it doesn’t bother you. I’m not sure why but I don’t think Bill takes a joke as well. I spent some time on his site a couple of weeks ago and all of his pictures he was posed as if his appearance was important.

    Posted on May 19th, 2008 at 8:32 pm

72. Drake Says:

    I saw Tyme this weekend and I understand why she’s doing this. Men were giving her their phone number left and right. Women were talking to her too. She’s a mix between being cool but when she laughed it was infectious. Weird, she wasn’t drinking a lot that I saw, she was surrounded by people drinking much more than her, but she was acting just like everyone else except when she was moving around. She was composed and cool.

    I never met Tyme before and I could be wrong but the look on her face and the way she accepted the numbers, I doubt she called any of those men. The perfect match for her would be a man that can do the same thing. Particularly since she attracts very attractive women to her.

    Posted on May 19th, 2008 at 10:08 pm

73. Phil Marshall Says:

    “It’s great to have someone that is there for you when you need them, but a small bit of drama can keep things fresh for some people.

    Sure it might be sick, but I think we all have our own twisted little way of making life a bit more adventurous.”

    Scrivs, my boy Tony told me to check out you and Tyme’s stuff. Don’t believe I read through all the comments. My boy said you and Tyme make him think “damn” and I know what he means. I read what you said and thought it was fucked up. Then realized that was me, always picking the girl that added the small bit of drama over the one doing the right things. Reading what you said made me realize all women bring drama because they are mini pain in the asses.

    I want to be known one day but I’m not going to get there with the drama girl. I will with the one doing the right things. Wasn’t like I was turned-off by those girls. I think I wasted my time with the drama girls. I didn’t give the girls doing the right thing to give me any adventure.

    Thanks man. Looking forward to reading more of your stuff.

    Tyme: Could you explain playing Cleopatra? Are you in the theater?

    Posted on May 19th, 2008 at 10:45 pm

74. Felix Says:

    Yes Phil, I suppose you could say Tyme is in the theater when she does that. Thanks man, you made my night. I can’t stop laughing.

    Posted on May 19th, 2008 at 11:11 pm

75. Emo Says:

    If Tyme’s hair is still like the picture her hair is perfectly Roman styled. Cleopatra was a temptress.

    @Felix I laughed too. Such an innocent question.

    Posted on May 19th, 2008 at 11:29 pm

76. Gary West Says:

    Your entry didn’t click until I read 3by9 yesterday. I understood what you were saying but now I see how it can apply to anything. I read 3by9, Chawlk, Emersian, Tyme Said and Expert Idiot. This is the first time I ever commented. I understand completely if you decide to delete the comment. I don’t agree but I understand.

    I can’t read 3by9 anymore on Monday’s. I read Mike’s entry and was completely turned off by him associating Business Logs, a site he sold that in my opinion is owned by unscrupulous people, with your current things. An article written two years go, and republished in February? I went to Business Logs and he’s still writing there. Does he work for them? Mike successfully linked 3by9 and 9rules with trash. What was the point? Was he paid for the advertisement?

    I read blogs because I can relate to what is being said, learn something or I’m entertained. If I linked a brand with a bad history to my employer without having a good reason I would be fired. Not reprimanded, fired. I’m not implying Mike should be fired. Everything that company bought is trash now. Business Logs is trash now. Why did Mike link to it? People don’t like that TechCrunch man but he’s making millions. Why does he make millions? I’m not a fanboy but no one can deny he takes care of business. I wish I could find the article that guy wrote about how he links so I could give it to Mike.

    Today I visit Chawlk and the article is on the front page of Chawlk and it re-angered me. I’m sorry Tyme, I know he’s your business partner but his antics are the equivalent of a boyfriend or girlfriend flirting inappropriately. I can’t see who voted on the article and that is the one thing I don’t like about the site. I have to sign up to see basic information the other sites allow readers to view readily. Why do I have to sign up to see how voted on an article or who originally submitted it? Did Mike submit his own article? I don’t vote on sites but if I did, I wouldn’t vote on Chawlk because I want to know who submitted something before they received my vote. I can’t follow people who submit topics I like either. Did you vote on the article?

    Yesterday I lost faith in Mike to make good business decisions. He doesn’t entertain me. I can’t relate to what he says because if I followed his lead I would get fired.

    Sorry for the rant Tyme but I felt it needed to be said. I understand if you decide to delete the comment.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 10:37 am

77. Kelley Strom Says:

    Gary: That’s the lovely thing about the web, like who you want, follow who you want. If Mike rubs you the wrong way, don’t follow what he does. I haven’t read the entry but I too find it odd he would like to a site owned by a company that turned his blog into “trash”. Last time I looked it wasn’t updated in months.

    Phil: I wondered the same thing. Is Tyme in a play?

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 11:38 am

78. Michael Dean Says:

    Good point about having to be logged in to see who submitted an article. If I submit something and it makes the front page I wouldn’t have any bragging rights unless my friends are users too.

    I’d like to see the link before clicking. I browse at work and I’d like a hint the link is legit.

    @Gary - It is a head scratcher.

    @Phil - I’d tell you about Cleopatra but you probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 12:13 pm

79. Tyme White Says:

    Gary (76): I wouldn’t hold the comment because it possibly said something I didn’t like or agree with. It is very likely you voiced what some that read the article thought and said nothing.

    I don’t have any of the answers you seek. I can tell you that Mike submitted the article and Scrivs voted positively on it.

    About viewing user name and link without logging in or prior to clipping, this is something that has been discussed internally. The link will be added and you guys have given some good points on why knowing can make a difference on interaction with the site.

    In his defense (and I have not spoken to Mike at all since he wrote it, let alone about this) I would assume he is completely unaware of the negativity users have against SP. They went on a buying spree, buying up a lot of the popular sites and did not maintain them, turning most of them (if not all - I have no idea) into garbage.

    ===

    As far as following people, here is a tip for following people on a WordPress blog. For example on 3by9 here is the feed for our articles:

    http://3by9.com/author/tyme/feed
    http://3by9.com/author/admin/feed (Scrivs)
    http://3by9.com/author/mike/feed

    You can do that with tags and categories too.

    http://3by9.com/category/web/feed

    That is one of the reasons why I switched back to WP - the software automatically creates them.

    @Phil and Kelley: I used to act but haven’t in a while. The Cleopatra reference was about me being a temptress.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 1:01 pm

80. Frank M. Says:

    I love you Tyme. I didn’t know that! You know how many sites I am only interested in one author? Brilliant for Wordpress to put that in.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 1:30 pm

81. Emo Says:

    Thanks Tyme. I didn’t know that either. I feel like I have power now. I might read TechCrunch since Arrington’s article’s are the only ones I care about.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 1:46 pm

82. Cool Guy Says:

    Shit, I can subscribe to specific people? How do you know if it is a Wordpress blog?

    Phil & Kelley: She’ll either turn into or make her man a sex slave.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 2:59 pm

83. Scrivs Says:

    @Gary: He is contractually obligated to write X amount of entries for the site unfortunately, but I believe he is almost done with it. It was part of the sale and it can’t be helped.

    Do we like what SplashPress has done with sites that we previously owned? Of course not, but that is the nature of the business. If you see something that is republished on BL then that is the ownership republishing his articles, not Mike. Mike is simply an author.

    Did I like that he linked back to an old entry on a site he doesn’t own? Not particularly, but it’s an entry so if he felt the need to help people understand that he has 5 more tips then it makes sense.

    To call what Mike did an antic is a bit over the top and we all submit our entries to Chawlk from time to time. I do it frequently with Emersian and Expert Idiot.

    I don’t vote on sites but if I did, I wouldn’t vote on Chawlk because I want to know who submitted something before they received my vote.

    Exactly the reason why we went in the direction of not showing who submitted until after you vote. You show a biased viewpoint and we thought it would be interesting to see people vote on the content regardless of who submitted. You do get to see what your Top Friends submitted however. We want our audience to vote on the content, not the people.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 3:07 pm

84. Gary West Says:

    “Did I like that he linked back to an old entry on a site he doesn’t own? Not particularly, but it’s an entry so if he felt the need to help people understand that he has 5 more tips then it makes sense.

    To call what Mike did an antic is a bit over the top and we all submit our entries to Chawlk from time to time. I do it frequently with Emersian and Expert Idiot.”

    Scrivs he did not just submit an article. He submitted an article that linked back to a site that no longer holds the once impeccable reputation it once held. Are you saying that article was worth tying your brands together? Are you saying that was a good business decision?

    You three are admired and respected by many people. Just as readers will use the tips in Mike’s article, I doubt I’m the only one that looks at what you guys do and how you go about things. What if someone else took Mike’s example, linked to blogs of a lesser standard and their brand never got off the ground? I tried to think of a valid reason for his decision but I could not think of one. You are protecting your friend and as his friend you might not like what I said but as CEO I don’t see how you can disagree.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 3:50 pm

85. Yoshi Says:

    “You are protecting your friend and as his friend you might not like what I said but as CEO I don’t see how you can disagree.”

    Scrivs wrote an article about that not too long ago. I don’t remember where but he talked about the friendships vs. business relationship.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 4:18 pm

86. Marion Says:

    I’d remove the link and delete the Chawlk entry. The way it reads boasts Business Logs, especially since Mike used to own it. Go check out the previous article I wrote. That is a different scenario than linking to a site that might not be liked in an article. You guys talked about b5 a lot but you didn’t recommend people go to the site.

    Do you forget that people are loyal to you? If a company/blogger does something negative towards you the loyal members of your audience will not like that company/blogger. You guys aren’t celebrities on TV we never talk to. I can’t talk for others but you guys are people I’ve gotten to know over the months.

    Just like exes are better left in the past, so are past business deals.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 4:46 pm

87. Marion Says:

    I think I just want to be famous enough where people tell others that they look like me.

    Scrivs do you see yourself doing a Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt thing? Everyone knows them because they are all over the place. I can’t think of a single man that does that offhand.

    Tyme, what about you? I see you doing a Heidi and Spencer deal.

    I don’t think I’d handle fame well.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 5:20 pm

88. Mike Rundle Says:

    Gary, my reasoning behind the link is that I figured that if I didn’t link to the first list, the link would come up in the comments and I was trying to be proactive about it. I removed the link from the entry, and now if people want to find the original 5 CSS tips I wrote about they’ll have to use Google to find it. This may lead to some people wondering why I didn’t link to the original 5 tips since I mention them in the article, but that’s an inconvenience that readers will have to deal with now that the link is gone.

    All I care about is the content and I merely wanted to help newer CSS coders with some techniques that have assisted me over the years… nothing more, nothing less. Linking to the first 5 CSS tips was my way of providing a bit more of a resource for people hitting the article that had a genuine interest in what I had to say about CSS.

    I run a business, but to be honest, I’m a far better writer and designer than I am a business man. I got caught up in the technical details of the design article to realize the poor business decision I made.

    I now see it was not a good business decision, and I’ve already discussed this issue at great lengths with both Tyme and Paul. When I wrote the article I was only trying to provide some prologue for the entry, and did not realize how big of a deal it would become. I apologize for not thinking more about the consequences of such a link, but will absolutely do so in the future, based mainly on your thoughts expressed here.

    And also, thank you for saying that the site had an “impeccable reputation” prior to the sale, that means a lot to me.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 5:25 pm

89. Felix Says:

    Why subscribe to an article on Tyme’s site? The good stuff happens in comments.

    Mike I used to recommend Business Logs a lot to clients. I don’t know if anything ever came out of it but I recommended you because I knew my client would have a site they would be proud of. When you sold it I said I didn’t know anyone.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 5:42 pm

90. Scrivs Says:

    I’ve written articles linking to adult entertainment sites with naked chicks on them. I’ve linked to b5 who we all know what standard they are at. I’ve linked to Scoble with whatever reputation he has. I’ve linked to Arrington and the shit he releases.

    So as of right now my brand is linked to (according to how you equate things):

    - Playboy
    - Suicide Girls
    - b5media
    - Scoble
    - Arrington

    And countless others that I’m sure people hate. Mike wrote an entry on a site he doesn’t own anymore. That site has whatever reputation because of the company that owns it. That I can understand. The entry he wrote was republished by said company. So he writes a new entry on another 5 CSS tips and from what I understand if he said “My 5 CSS tips” people could just as easily ask why he is writing another one when it was done already on another site. So he linked up the old article and said My 5 (more) CSS tips to avoid confusion.

    I see it as him simply trying to avoid confusion. That’s not defending, that’s breaking down logically why he did it. If you guys were behind the scenes Mike will tell you nobody, not even Tyme, is harder on him than me. I know when my friendship kicks in and when to keep it business like and to me a link to another site helping to explain something is no big deal. I guess that is where we differ. Should every blogger go on and check every single link and then do a survey to their audience to see how they feel about the site they are linking to? No because that is tedious and impossible.

    Maybe this is why people consider me child like and immature because tiny things like that don’t bother me. I saw it, wondered why he did it and moved on with life. It’s great to know that we are respected and admired (and just as equally scary to know). I know people follow what we do, but if I second guessed everything the 3 of us ever did then hell we would get no where.

    I have no doubt if it was just Mike and I on screen drinking and cussing people would scoff at us, but we add Tyme to the equation her audience sees the drinkcasts as being alright. I’m trying to say we can’t control the views and opinions of everyone and as you mentioned, leader of this group it’s somewhat up to me to figure out when we need to worry and when not to worry.

    I’m sure after reading this discussion though Mike will be more paranoid about what he links to. I do appreciate the time you took for the feedback, but sorry it took place here where we were talking about pimps and hos.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 5:45 pm

91. Scrivs Says:

    Damn Mike replied and didn’t even tell me. He broke the chain of communication. Like I guessed though now he will be paranoid about said links, but I also guess he won’t be linking there anymore.

    @Marion: Pulling a Heidi and Spencer? Those two are fucking idiots. They have the money to pay people to follow them around and take stupid pics, I don’t think I’d be doing that.

    Let me see if I can think of another equivalent…

    Nope not at the moment.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 5:48 pm

92. Scrivs Says:

    @Marion: I thought about it more. I would do more of a Lauren Conrad thing. Do a sex tape. Deny doing sex tape. Then have Heidi and Spencer run around looking like idiots trying to prove there is a sex tape.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 5:52 pm

93. Marion Says:

    Except you wouldn’t be a bitch like Lauren, right? :=)

    I can see you doing the celebrity thing, that’s why I asked. You are a natural.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 6:31 pm

94. Scrivs Says:

    And Gary if you hadn’t brought up the issue the three of us wouldn’t have talked about it internally. I just mention this to let it be known to the fine folks that I have no problem with people bringing these things up.

    And that I’ve been wearing the same clothes for 3 days.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 6:34 pm

95. Scrivs Says:

    You think Lauren is a bitch? I don’t watch enough of the show to see it, I just go by what I hear. Damn, that ruins it for me.

    AND JESSICA ALBA GOT MARRIED YESTERDAY…W…T…F.

    Oh and Tyme got introduced (via picture) to Megan Fox for the first time today. She is in love.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 6:36 pm

96. Felix Says:

    “Oh and Tyme got introduced (via picture) to Megan Fox for the first time today. She is in love.”

    I can’t blame her. If I was a woman that would be a lesbian experience I wouldn’t pass up.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 6:45 pm

97. Emo Says:

    And Gary if you hadn’t brought up the issue the three of us wouldn’t have talked about it internally. I just mention this to let it be known to the fine folks that I have no problem with people bringing these things up.

    That’s why I trust you guys. Your honest. I see both sides on this one but I lean towards protecting brand. I found Business Logs towards the end of its life but I enjoyed it. If I had a site I would want to design it.

    Tyme you can’t have Megan. She’s mine!

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 6:58 pm

98. Michael Dean Says:

    Scrivs is going to make a great celebrity. Funny I always thought of him that way. The man showed the VIP section, riding in limos but not stuck up like most celebrities become.

    Scrivs The Hills is a trip. Airheads, nothing upstairs. My girlfriend loves the show. Tyme do you watch it?

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 7:31 pm

99. Scrivs Says:

    I have yet to come across a girl that doesn’t watch the show. I love the fact that it’s fake, but not fake, if that makes any sense.

    Good to know I’ll be a great celebrity, I just need to make it to that status now.

    Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 7:35 pm

100. Tyme White Says:

     I have watched the show but I don’t tune in regularly. I think girls watch the show because it’s a life they want to live. I already live it but I’m 1000x smarter LOL. I’m aware what is going on. I had it Tivo’d for when nothing else was on LOL.

     That show is a PERFECT example as to why I have ONE main female friend. Women…OMG - can you say trouble? I can say the show is dangerous because it doesn’t show the reality of the lifestyles they lead.

     @Emo: If I were gay it would be on. Scrivs said she’s kicking it with Brian Austin Green. I died a little inside.

     @Scrivs: She did what a lot of women do to catch a guy. Get pregnant, then nab the ring. Funny how many celebs have done that back to back recently. Fellas ALWAYS wear a condom unless you’re screwing the woman you want to marry. Women are scandalous yo.

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 8:02 pm

101. Scrivs Says:

     When you are as rich and sexy as her you can be scandalous with me. I beg you to be scandalous with me. Jessica Albe…?…hmmmmmm

     Me, her and bacon is all I need for a fun weekend.

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 8:29 pm

102. Scrivs Says:

     Whoops spelled Alba as “Albe”. That will be my nickname for her.

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 8:30 pm

103. Scrivs Says:

     And from what I recall she dumped him then found out she was pregnant so he was the scandalous one. Probably pulled the ol’ “oh sure I have still have it on baby no worries” trick that they teach us in middle school.

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 8:45 pm

104. Chris Says:

     Tyme if I say I prefer a sexy, vibrant, down to earth woman over a celebrity, can I get a chance?

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 8:55 pm

105. Cool Guy Says:

     Megan Fox over Jessica Alba any day Scrivs. Any day. I could die after Megan Fox.

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 9:17 pm

106. Emo Says:

     Yes Mother Tyme, always wear a condom. Just between you me and anyone reading this, do you like condom? Wouldn’t you prefer it without?

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 9:27 pm

107. Scrivs Says:

     @Cool Guy: Since when were we picking and choosing?

     @Emo: Damn son, save those questions for email.

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 9:35 pm

108. Yoshi Says:

     “I found Business Logs towards the end of its life”

     I found that terribly funny since the site allegedly isn’t dead. Thanks for the laugh because I needed it.

     “Tyme if I say I prefer a sexy, vibrant, down to earth woman over a celebrity, can I get a chance?”

     Probably not but good luck!

     “I think girls watch the show because it’s a life they want to live. I already live it but I’m 1000x smarter LOL.”

     Agreed and they mimic the show but Tyme, sweetheart, you have the same man problems as they do.

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 9:44 pm

109. Scrivs Says:

     “Agreed and they mimic the show but Tyme, sweetheart, you have the same man problems as they do.”

     BURN!

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 10:39 pm

110. Tyme White Says:

     @Yoshi - Not even close baby, not even close. Audrina has a thing for bad guys and is stuck on an ex. Not me.

     Lauren is stuck on an ex. Not me.

     Haha, Heidi is stuck on an ex and relocated to get him out of her life, only to go back to him. Not me.

     I can do this all night baby. All night.

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 10:49 pm

111. Scrivs Says:

     Haha you don’t want to play that game because all of you women can start to list things that the Hills girls do that you don’t….BUT…then we sure as hell can start listing all the things YOU have done and they haven’t.

     Life is a fool’s game and we all playing it.

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 10:51 pm

112. Tyme White Says:

     It’s a show. Whatcha gonna do incorporate shit into it? You can’t.

     The things I did they don’t have the means to do in.that.show. Actually Scrivs the theory is fucked because none of them have had a relationship as long as one of the shortest ones of mine.

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 10:56 pm

113. Scrivs Says:

     But they will have a long term relationship sooner or later (we are assuming they haven’t although I don’t know about their lifespans). It’s still people and to say that you haven’t chased after an ex is silly when men have done stuff to you that would have made them an ex with other people a million times sooner than when you made them an ex. So when they are chasing an ex you could say you are chasing the man you are already with.

     Shit that was deep. Let me get some water. Okay. Back.

     We all can list the fuckups we have done, do now and will do with the opposite sex is what I’m saying. It’s easy to point out others mishaps and say we haven’t done those stupid things without realizing the stupid shit we have done ourselves. Who wants to be reminded of their fuckups?

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 11:05 pm

114. Tyme White Says:

     So when they are chasing an ex you could say you are chasing the man you are already with.

     Except I already caught him….

     I get what you are saying and I will probably do stupid things in the future. Just not the stupid things they do (or have shown so far) because I already learned my lessons. Yoshi was saying I STILL have those problems, which I don’t.

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 11:18 pm

115. Scrivs Says:

     Haha, well I’m sure Yoshi didn’t mean the EXACT same problems…cut the people some slack Cleo.

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 11:42 pm

116. Scrivs Says:

     Oh and yes you caught the guy but you are still chasing after that perfect relationship with him…just like them.

     I think I’m done with relationship talk this week, I have a feeling everyone just sits back and watches us.

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 11:43 pm

117. Tyme White Says:

     Ah man, do I have to cut people slack? Damn it….

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 11:50 pm

118. Emo Says:

     Busted. I wasn’t about to go to bed. Haven’t seen a fun exchange like this between you two in months. You two made my night. Thank you.

     Night.

     Posted on May 20th, 2008 at 11:54 pm

119. Marquee Says:

     The Hills is like watching a car wreck. I shouldn’t look but I do.

     Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 1:09 am

120. Evil Philanthropist Says:

     I feel like I came to the party and everyone was gone. :=(

     My girlfriend is like you Tyme, she only watches it when nothing else is on. The girls stupidity irritates her.

     Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 6:11 am

121. Hailey Madison Says:

     Mike, I didn’t realize you sold you site. You are the only one on the front page besides one entry. At the best case scenario you sold it but are an employee of the new owners. I imagine there are thousands if not hundreds of thousands of people that think the same thing, especially anyone new coming across the site.

     I’m not a business person either but it seems to me they are exploiting you and you are allowing them to do so. Do they receive inquiries because people like me do not realize you no longer own the site? Why are they republishing your articles instead of getting new people on the site? I’m not a business person and those are the questions that first come to mind. I imagine a business person that follows you would be extremely frustrated. As a non-business they see things you don’t see.

     It’s not just a link, you re-associated your new brand and that of your partners with your old brand which looks like they are exploiting your naivety in business. Tyme is probably going bananas because with her advanced business experience, she sees things you blow off as nothing.

     Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 9:23 am

122. Felix Says:

     Note to self: Don’t pull up Tyme’s site in the middle of a meeting. I laughed during the meeting. Nothing is getting done now because we’re talking about The Hills, fucked up mistakes in relationships and branding blunders.

     Posted on May 21st, 2008 at 12:07 pm