You can’t please everyone - so don’t try
Update 4/14/07 7:21am EST: I just got home, started pouring through emails:
1) I heard from her, and she said she didn’t write the comment on Rose’s blog. I have no idea who did but yes, the person who wrote it went to some trouble to make it seem like she did. And yes I realize this isn’t the first time this happened.
2) I didn’t open up comments because I knew I wouldn’t be home. I’ll open them up later on this afternoon. I have some errands to run.
3) This isn’t the first “complaint” about the member’s forum, there were some on notes which is why I’m addressing it.
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I was quiet about this for awhile but the more I tried the let it go, the more it bothered me. I often say that people treat us the way we allow them to and what I am about to talk about isn’t an example of someone treating me “badly” but there is no way something like this could be said to me and I don’t respond. Why should a blog be any different? It’s the way the response is formed, not the response itself. So here we go…a recent “review” of 9rules, which is really a review on my9rules. The author made an observation of me talking about etiquette and she pointed out that two weeks later, the same behaviors still existed - in her opinion (which is fine). However, most people know that a change like that doesn’t happen overnight and the perception is that it’s a massive problem. Let’s put it into perspective: less than 5 people. Ok fine, 9rules isn’t for this person and that’s fine but you can’t say 9rules was unfair and didn’t try because we didn’t touch the following notes (meaning they hit our front page):
Hooking Up - Casual sex encounters
Since when did the word Vagina become an offensive word?
Tonight Dear - I have a Headache
Yeah, I’ll come back to this in a minute because I was really fine with her review (because I tried my best), we can’t please everyone and this my advice to you:
Do what YOU want to do with your site because you can’t please everyone.
I say that because of a comment that pissed me off. Let’s get to it:
It was almost funny how much the people who want to get into the network kiss the ass of the people who run it, a network and people that I, and most people not into web 2.0 or design, had never heard of. Their own little secluded world really.
You mean the same way people will kiss the ass of a head hunter to get a job? Try to get out of a ticket? Try to get a promotion? You mean the crap that happens everyday? But ironically (and I just asked Scrivs) we don’t see ass-kissing because ass-kissing doesn’t work. Having fun with us, yeah that might work. Getting to know us? Yeah that might work. I definitely didn’t kiss ass to get into 9rules and I honestly (since I’ve been apart of 9rules) can’t think of anyone who did. Moving on:
They do have private forums where the members go to talk among themselves. I think the outside notes are to entice readers, for financial gain of the rulers of course. I’m not sure everyone knows it but someone told me that in the beginning.
Yes, we have a private forum for 9rules members so that they, gasp, can talk to each other and we can talk to them. Believe it or not our members like to talk amongst themselves in private sometimes because (you better sit down for this one) they are friends, meaning they’ve met face to face. And, gasp, sometimes we have things we want to talk to them in private - like feature launches, suggestions, getting feedback, etc. Notes for the financial gain of the rulers… did you forget we are already billionaires? Were else are we supposed to TALK to each other - in notes? Come on now…
But the most insulting part:
I believe that members are encouraged to participate in notes by the rulers. Sort of to throw bread crumbs at the pigeons while the real pretty birds look on from their private birdcage. I don’t think anyone there in 9rules proper really wants to talk to people outside the “network” which is why the notes section is maybe not what the private forums are. They might have decent discussion there I don’t know.
Wow, talk about a slap in the face to all of our members, to Scrivs, Mike and I. We took flack for having a closed environment so we open it up. Is that good enough? Haha, of course not, why should it be? Anyone can make a note on my9rules. Notes are a great tool for exposure and the possibility for non-members to dominate is always there, which our members didn’t like at first. One thing I work very hard at on 9rules is being fair, even if I don’t agree. I’m having a hard time here because of the irony. See, I am not 100% sure who this person is but by what the person put as the author on the comment (and it’s sad if the person has a site and didn’t link - take responsibility for your words) it’s a weird coincidence that the timing and things said matches the person being the reason I wrote the etiquette note in the first place. See, this person thought they had the right to tell people they need to get out of the house and get a life. Or someone is pathetic or mostly look down on her thrown at everyone else and judge people. Just like she did in that comment - and have her facts ass backwards. Sometimes you have to come down off the thrown.
But the real irony: if I’m right, even though she asked to have her account deleted, guess who is still on my9rules? Yeah…right…I hope I’m wrong, I really do and I would ask but after writing this, I honestly don’t give a shit.
Benefit from what Scrivs, Mike and I learned the hard way: you can bend over backwards until the point you bleed from the inside out trying to please people and you won’t be able to please everyone. You’ll just be asked to jump through more hoops until you look at your site and you don’t recognize it or yourself anymore. Thankfully with 9rules, we’re happy with what we are doing and it is that passion that drives us and gives us the strength to block out the noise, listen to the constructive criticism and continue with our goals.
And for the record, just about every community has a hidden area where people are talking and it’s invisible to the average user. I honestly don’t know of one that doesn’t. We don’t hide the fact we have a members forum. I just looked at when the first post was made in the forums: 2005, way before notes. Yeah, like we should just scrap it. Well, I have one thing to say to that: keep dreaming because it - ain’t - happenin’.
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